Saturday, July 7, 2012
Petre's Guide to Using a Cat
There are a lot of things you can do with that cat, but when you get down to it, he's really just meant to be used. I've already talked about how to play nice with him and make him think you're his friend, and how to get him to mount you of his own free will. But the fact is, you don't need to talk to him, you don't need to get to know him-- all you really need to do is grab the squirmy lil bugger and put him to work pleasing you.
Now, to be fair, of course, there is a proper order to it all. If this is your first time getting your hands on him, you gotta feel him up, give him a few gropes before you can finger him, and you gotta finger him before you can pop your dick in that tight lil butt. He'll love it any way he can get it, but it'll all go smoother if you at least warm the slut up a little.
And if you're not in the mood to crack that ass open, some folks like to get a little intimate and kiss him up. He'll just melt into you for that, and if you're really feeling generous, you can tongue him over some and even suck him off. If you're the type, I suppose it's all fair game. And if you like paws, you can pull him to use his on you pretty easily-- a good time to ditch your pants, really. It's not really that hard, just let the inspiration come to you as you use the little cumslut.
Now, if you want to claim him as your property, it's still not too complicated, but it'll take a lot of stamina. Basically, you gotta fuck him. A lot. No namby pamby talking, don't even bother petting him, just use and abuse him. Make sure he knows where he belongs in life. If you feel like you've made yourself clear, just keep bending that sweet ass over-- blow enough loads in that ass, and it'll feel right as rain to snap that collar round his neck. It definitely helps to have a couch, though-- much better sex that way.
The one tricky bit is exhaustion-- you fuck him too hard and too often, sooner or later you'll both collapse. You can try alternating with other things to rest up if you're having trouble, or just go ahead and sleep, then pound him hard and fast before you both collapse. You'll get it, don't worry.
Oh, and he's got one funny little habit you can take advantage of-- but you have to put a little work in, and have a couch. Get him really horny --maybe plug his ass until he's panting and needy, but couldn't quite blow-- then just... walk away. If he thinks you aren't around, there's a good chance the pervy little bastard will bend right over and suck himself off. It's adorable in a disgusting way, and a great chance to double stuff him when you don't have any help on hand.
Well, that about does it. If you've followed my advice, you should have him collared any which way you want, and I'm told you should have all the normal trophies. I, ah... I didn't know they were making a sport of this.
...Where the hell are all my medals?